Empathy isn’t just about nodding along with someone’s story—it’s about truly stepping into their world, even if only for a moment. It’s about showing up, listening, and letting others know that they don’t have to carry their burdens alone.
Learning to Practice Empathy
Meme by Tenor (n.d.)
All my life, I’ve been acutely aware of how other people feel. (Shoutout to childhood trauma for making that a survival mechanism.) Growing up in an unpredictable environment forced me to read emotions like a second language—it was how I kept things calm. Over time, though, that hyper-awareness shaped me into someone deeply empathetic. I knew I wanted to help people, but I didn’t know how or in what capacity. That is, until I went to university and found myself as a student counselor.
Here’s the thing about empathy—it’s not about saying, “Oh, I’ve totally been through that. I know how you feel.” It’s about sitting with someone in their experience, seeing things through their eyes, and being present without shifting the focus onto yourself. I had a student once who was transitioning from female to male. He was terrified that his parents would kick him out, leaving him homeless.
This wasn’t an uncommon fear—so many in the LGBTQIA2S+ community live with this constant anxiety. I got it, too. I had carried the same fear when I came out to my parents. We never talked about things like sexuality when I was growing up, so the fear of being abandoned was real. And that’s the thing about empathy—it’s about understanding those deep, underlying fears and responding with compassion.
What mattered most in that moment wasn’t trying to fix things or offer a quick solution. It was about showing up, saying, “I’m not going anywhere,” and being a stable presence. Empathy doesn’t mean solving someone’s problems for them—it means offering understanding and support without shifting the emotional weight onto them to make you feel better.
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the emotions of others, but it’s more than just recognizing someone’s feelings—it’s about creating a connection. Empathy can bridge the emotional gap between people, fostering deeper relationships and offering a sense of comfort [1].
Researchers define empathy in two main ways [2]:
- Affective Empathy: The ability to feel what another person is feeling, almost like emotional osmosis.
- Cognitive Empathy: The ability to understand someone else’s emotional state on an intellectual level.
Both play an essential role in helping us connect meaningfully with others.
Ten Ways to Practice Empathy and Compassion
There are a number of ways to practice empathy. But here are 10 of the most powerful [3]:
When someone speaks, listen with the intent to understand, not just to respond. Put away distractions, focus on their words, and let them know you’re fully present. Active listening builds trust and opens the door for genuine connection.
Try to imagine what life feels like for someone else. Perspective-taking isn’t about agreeing with everything they say—it’s about understanding their emotions and experiences from their point of view.
Approach conversations with curiosity. Ask open-ended questions to deepen your understanding. Simple questions like, “What’s that been like for you?” create space for meaningful dialogue.
Sometimes, people don’t need advice—they just need to be heard. Validating emotions means acknowledging what someone is feeling without dismissing or minimizing their experience. “That sounds really tough” can be more powerful than you think.
How you say things matters. Choosing your words with care—“I’m here for you” or “You’re not alone”—can help someone feel seen and supported.
Empathy isn’t just about words. Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone. Sometimes the most important emotions are the ones left unspoken.
It’s easy to jump to conclusions, but empathy requires holding space for someone without judgment. Try to understand their story before forming an opinion—it makes all the difference.
Recognize and honor your own emotions without shame or guilt. When you’re kind to yourself, you create more room to extend empathy to others.
Step outside your comfort zone—meet new people, explore different cultures, and learn from perspectives that differ from your own. The more you expose yourself to diverse experiences, the more your empathy grows.
After difficult conversations, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: “Did I really listen? How could I have responded differently?” Self-awareness is key to developing deeper empathy over time.
How to Practice Empathy
Practicing empathy and compassion is like tending a garden—it takes time, patience, and care. But the beauty that grows from it? That’s worth every bit of effort. By being present, listening actively, and embracing diverse perspectives, we build stronger connections and foster a more compassionate world.
The truth is, empathy isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about showing up, over and over again, even when it feels uncomfortable. Because at the end of the day, everyone (including you) deserves to be heard, seen, and understood. And the more you practice empathy, the easier it becomes to show that kindness not just to others but to yourself too.
References
[1] Riess H. (2017). The Science of Empathy. Journal of patient experience, 4(2), 74–77. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513638/
[2] Burleson, B. R. (2003). Emotional support skills. Handbook of Communication and Social Interaction Skills.
[3] Binder, R. (2016). Top 10 Ways to Develop Empathy. Retrieved from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/top-10-ways-develop-empathy-rick-binder